I’ll let myself down the well, but not too far, in case I fall in. Which is true, it stunned me actually, that he was so insanely accurate. Secondly, he said I was stuck between doing something. He said I was tired, which is true, I am, probably due to school and my lack of sleep. I didn’t even realise until he had said it. Today Pete read my aura, it was a weird experience because he got it spot on. ![]() I don’t want that to happen.ĭo the few minutes of feeling significant measure up to the fact that I could lose all that is meaningful to me? When I get caught, I will lose everything. I know that the equivocator inside me is completely stupid, I know, no matter what I say, it doesn’t affect people. I just have to stop, but I don’t know how. I can probably make this go away, this feeling of failure and deceit. Old ways are creeping back in a seeping in through the cracks in my composure. I hang, feigning my entire existence from these strings that i’m hanging from. Sometimes, its just that nothing seems worth saving. Fragile, she doesn’t see her beauty, she tries to get away. The image was shot by her mother, Autumn de Wilde, the accomplished photographer whose work includes classic portraits and album covers for Elliott Smith, Beck, Jenny Lewis, and Childish Gambino. She matters, when everything is meaningless. I’m experiencing a writers block at the moment though, which explains the thready narrative.įiled under: Confession, Music, Spirituality, Thoughts It also means I can start writing freely now, without knowing that i’ve got to go to bed early. It’s finally the Easter holidays, which means I can catch up with sleep and coursework. So maybe I should talk about something other than my feelings for a bit? Combined, I think these two books give a fairly decent representation of his professional life and times. I couldn’t leave her with the confusion and the hurt my going away would bring. I would then supplement it with the Elliott Smith book by Autumn de Wilde, since it contains interviews with a lot of the people close to Elliott who weren't interviewed in Torment Saint, and vice versa. I also have Sarah, who is just everything. ![]() It sounds completely opposite, but what I want to do when I leave education and stuff, it stops me from thinking about ‘fading away’. I don’t really have a suicidal intent, I think the main barrier stopping me from feeling that way is my future. I mean, at one point it was like ‘I wish I could just fade out’, which doesn’t have a suicidal intent, it just means that I could probably do with some alone time, which coincidentally I have until tomorrow afternoon. Autumn de Wilde is an American photographer noted for her portraiture and commercial work photography of indie musicians. I was sitting there in Spanish, and it was like. Today was like out of body, to be honest. You know, baby, i would be with you if I could, to trade my flesh for your bones. Filed under: Confession, Music, Terra Naomi, Thoughts
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